The Battle for Our Minds: “Deliver Us from Evil”

Don’t Be Afraid to Listen to God

Surrendering Fear,    Testing What We Hear,    and Trusting Jesus to Lead Us

When I first began experiencing what I believed were thoughts from God during Centering Prayer,

I did not jump out of bed shouting:

“Hallelujah!      God is talking to me!”

Quite the opposite.

I wanted to run.

I was frightened.

Almost terrified.

Part of me wondered whether these thoughts were simply my imagination with a new job title and considerably more confidence.

Another part of me wanted to close the door on the whole experience,

walk away,

and return to the comfortable world where everything required:

evidence,

measurements,

documentation,

and preferably a double-blind study

before I was willing to believe it.

That world felt safe.

I knew the rules there.

Forty Years of Professional Skepticism

You have to understand where I was coming from.

I was a seventy-year-old veterinarian who had practiced medicine for more than forty years.

My professional life had trained me to be skeptical.

That skepticism was not a weakness.

It was part of my responsibility.

I spent decades trying to protect my clients from treatments that promised miracles

but sometimes delivered little more than an expensive bottle and an impressive label.

The old snake-oil salesman did not disappear when the horse and wagon disappeared.

He discovered Wi-Fi.

Today he has:

a website,

a shopping cart,

twelve glowing testimonials,

a photograph of someone wearing a white coat,

and      —

for the next eleven minutes only      —

FREE SHIPPING!

The horse may be gone,

but apparently a sales department replaced it.

So skepticism had become part of me.

If a medicine did not have credible evidence behind it,

I approached it cautiously.

That was good medicine.

Then I began Centering Prayer.

And suddenly I was encountering something that could not be:

placed on an examination table,

weighed on a scale,

seen under a microscope,

or mailed to the laboratory.

I believed God was putting thoughts and convictions into my heart.

And my scientifically trained mind immediately announced:

“Bill,      we have a problem.”

What If I’m Being Deceived?

My greatest fear was not simply:

“What if this is my imagination?”

I also wondered:

“What if I open myself spiritually and something other than the Holy Spirit tries to influence me?”

That question became enormously important:

How do I know who I am listening to?

For someone who had spent seventy years doubting spiritual experiences,

this was not a small concern.

I had finally opened the door      —

and suddenly I wanted to know who might be standing on the other side.

That fear could easily have made me close the door again.

And that is exactly why this article matters so much to me.

I do not want fear of the unknown to keep someone else from listening to God

the way it kept me from listening for seventy years.

God Gave Me Help Before I Was Ready to Trust Myself

During that early period,

God gave me something I desperately needed.

I joined a church where two pastors were willing to meet with me privately each week.

I told them what I believed I was experiencing.

I described the thoughts,

convictions,

questions,

and spiritual experiences that frightened me.

And they listened.

Week after week,

I could bring those experiences to them and examine them in the light of:

Scripture,

Jesus Christ,

Christian wisdom,

and the fruit they produced.

They reassured me that if they believed something I described was spiritually dangerous,

they would tell me.

That gave me something I desperately needed:

peace.

I did not have to navigate everything alone.

And because I trusted them,

I became willing to continue listening to something

I could not see with my eyes,

touch with my hands,

or hear with my ears.

They became an important lifeline while I learned something completely new:

how to trust God instead of trusting only myself.

The Bible Never Pretends Temptation Isn’t Real

Then I began noticing something in Scripture that I had somehow missed.

The Bible does not tell us that temptation is imaginary.

Jesus Himself taught us to pray:

“Lead us not into temptation,      but deliver us from evil.”

Look carefully at that prayer.

Where does the power lie?

Jesus does not teach us to say:

“Lord,      stand back.      I’ve got this.”

He teaches us to ask:

God,      deliver me.

That distinction changed everything for me.

Centering Prayer is not about making me mentally powerful enough to defeat every temptation by myself.

Quite the opposite.

Centering Prayer continually reminds me how dependent I am upon God.

I surrender.

God acts.

I trust.

God leads.

I ask for protection.

God delivers.

Jesus Faced the Tempter Too

That is why the story of Jesus in the wilderness became so important to me.

Jesus was tempted, by a tempter spirit, with:

bread,

power,

recognition,

kingdoms,

and glory.

The tempter repeatedly tried to pull His attention away from complete obedience to God.

Yet Jesus continually returned to Scripture.

He said:

“It is written...”

And finally:

“Worship the Lord your God,      and serve Him only.”

Those words go directly to the heart of Centering Prayer.

The great question is:

Whom am I going to serve?

God?

Or something else?

I Had Already Spent Seventy Years Choosing

That question forced me to look backward at my own life.

For much of my first seventy years,

I served my own will.

I chased money.

I chased success.

I dreamed up one money-making idea after another.

I trusted my intelligence.

I trusted my education.

I trusted my experience.

And      —

if I am going to admit it      —

my ego was not exactly suffering from malnutrition.

It ate very well.

I believed I was steering the ship.

I was:

captain,

navigator,

engineer,

and occasionally the fellow standing proudly on the bow

pointing confidently in the wrong direction.

I did not wake up each morning asking:

“Holy Spirit,      how may I serve You today?”

I asked:

“What do I want to do today?”

That is an enormous difference.

The Battle Is Over the Center of the Heart

Looking backward through the eyes of faith,

I now understand those years as a spiritual battle over what would occupy the center of my life.

Would it be:

God?

Or:

Bill?

Would I pursue God's will      —

or my will?

Would I love God with all my heart and soul      —

or would money,

pride,

ambition,

pleasure,

and recognition quietly move onto the throne?

Scripture warns us about this struggle.

Paul describes people becoming:

“lovers of themselves,      lovers of money...”

and:

“lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.”

When I finally read those words seriously,

I did not feel as though Paul were describing a mysterious group of people thousands of miles away.

I felt as though:

Paul had somehow been reading my email.

And I wanted to know who had given him the password.

The Real Freedom Was Admitting I Couldn’t Fix Myself

That realization was uncomfortable.

But it was also liberating.

Eventually I recognized something enormously important:

I could not transform myself into the person God wanted me to become.

Only God had that power.

For years,

I had tried to run everything.

My career.

My finances.

My future.

My plans.

My reputation.

My life.

Apparently,      I had also decided that spiritual transformation belonged somewhere on   Bill's personal to-do list.

It did not.

God is the One with the power.

That is exactly what Jesus taught us to pray:

“Deliver us from evil:      For thine is the kingdom,      and the power,      and the glory,      for ever.”

Notice the words.

Not:

my kingdom.

Not:

my power.

Not:

my glory.

His.

That took an enormous weight off my shoulders.

Discernment Still Matters

Surrendering to God does not mean believing every thought that enters my mind.

When something comes into my heart during Centering Prayer,

I do not want to follow it merely because it appeared there.

I bring it before God.

I ask:

Does this reflect the unconditional love Jesus commanded us to have for one another?

Does it lead me toward God      —

or toward myself?

Does it call me toward:

love,

humility,

forgiveness,

truth,

peace,

and service?

Or does it lead toward:

hatred,

revenge,

greed,

vanity,

selfishness,

fear,

and pride?

Jesus commanded us to love one another as He loved us.

For me,

that command is one of the brightest lights God has given us for recognizing our path ahead.

If It Doesn’t Look Like Jesus,    Stop!

Both Matthew and Paul warn us that   tempter spirits are real.

So we turn to God and discern.

The Holy Spirit is not going to teach us unconditional love for thousands of years

and then whisper to me one Tuesday morning:

“Bill,      I’ve reconsidered.      Revenge seems like a wonderful idea today.”

That would not fit the character of Christ.

So I listen.

But I also discern.

I ask whether what I believe I am hearing resembles Jesus.

Does it produce the fruit of the Spirit?

Does it bring:

love,

joy,

peace,

patience,

kindness,

goodness,

faithfulness,

gentleness,

and self-control?

If not,

I need to stop.

Pray.

Discern.

Seek Scripture.

And when necessary,

ask wise Christians for help.

Listening to God does not require us to abandon wisdom.

It requires us to surrender our will.

Those are not the same thing.

I Don’t Have to Wrestle Temptation Alone

When I recognize something as temptation,

my confidence is not in my ability to wrestle it into submission through sheer mental strength.

My confidence is in:

Jesus Christ.

I can pray:

“Jesus,      deliver me from this temptation.”

“Take it away from me.”

“I surrender it to You.”

I do not have to defeat evil by becoming stronger than evil.

I turn toward the One who is stronger.

That is the part I missed for most of my life.

I had spent decades training myself to believe that strength meant:

solving the problem,

controlling the problem,

fixing the problem,

and preferably preparing three backup plans in case the original solution developed complications.

Centering Prayer taught me something radically different:

Surrender can be strength.

Centering Prayer Is Surrender

Centering Prayer is not about becoming the master of my own mind.

It is about surrendering my:

mind,

heart,

soul,

ambitions,

fears,

desires,

plans,

and future

to God.

It is saying:

“Lord,      I do not want my will ruling my life anymore.”

“I want Your will.”

Then I listen.

Sometimes I simply rest quietly in God's presence

and experience His peace and unconditional love.

Sometimes I search Scripture for wisdom.

Sometimes a conviction remains strongly upon my heart,

and I prayerfully test it before acting.

Sometimes I wait.

And sometimes God's answer appears to be:

“Bill,      you're going to have to be patient.”

I have noticed that God seems remarkably comfortable with patience.

But,      Bill has historically been less tolerant of it.

Keep God at the Center

But no matter what happens,

the center remains the same:

God.

Not wealth.

Not power.

Not vanity.

Not pleasure.

Not my ego.

Not fear.

Not even the spiritual experience itself.

Only God.

Jesus said it perfectly in the wilderness:

“Worship the Lord your God,      and serve Him only.”

That is spiritual warfare as I have come to understand it.

The battle is about:

whom I will trust,

whom I will love,

and whom I will serve.

And I finally understand that I do not win that battle by announcing how spiritually powerful I am.

I win by understanding how powerless I am:

without God.

What About Fear?

This is where I especially want to speak to anyone who is frightened of listening.

I understand that fear.

I lived with it.

You may worry:

“What if I imagined this thing?”

Our minds are incredibly creative.

Human beings imagine things.

You may wonder:

“What if I misunderstand something?”

You probably will at some point.

Human beings misunderstand things too.

You may worry:

“What if I am tempted?”

Scripture says temptation is real.

But none of those things means you must run away from God.

They mean:

get closer to God.

Use Scripture.

Use discernment.

Look for Christ's unconditional love.

Seek wise counsel when needed.

And remember Jesus taught us to pray:

“Deliver us from evil.”

We are not alone.

Fear Does Not Get the Final Word

Paul tells believers to:

“be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.”

Notice again where the strength is found.

Not:

be strong in Bill.

Not:

be strong in yourself.

But:

“Be strong in the Lord.”

Then Paul tells us to put on the Armor of God.

Truth.

Righteousness.

Faith.

Salvation.

The Gospel of peace.

The Word of God.

Prayer.

God does not invite us into spiritual life

and then abandon us at the door.

He gives us what we need.

Centering Prayer Changed the Center of My Life

Every morning,

Centering Prayer brings me back to surrender.

I become quiet before Jesus and ask:

“Lord Jesus,      how may I serve You today?”

Then I listen.

When fear comes,

I give it to Him.

When temptation comes,

I ask Him to deliver me from it.

When pride tries to climb back onto its old throne,

I ask God to kindly remove the unauthorized occupant.

Apparently pride keeps forgetting that his lease expired.

And when I believe God has placed a loving calling upon my heart,

I pray for the faith to obey.

For seventy years,

the center of my world was largely:

me.

Centering Prayer changed the center.

The Billboard in My Heart

Today,

I sometimes imagine God placing a giant billboard across my heart.

It does not advertise:

money,

power,

success,

prestige,

or another brilliant plan from Bill.

It simply says:

WELCOME TO CHRIST’S KINGDOM OF HEAVEN ON EARTH

And underneath it,

I imagine one simple instruction:

Love God,

Trust God,

Listen to God,

And Serve God.

The Kingdom is:

His.

The power is:

His.

The glory is:

His.

And that means I do not have to be frightened of approaching God.

I do not have to possess all the answers before I begin.

I do not have to become spiritually powerful before I listen.

I simply have to become willing.

Willing to surrender.

Willing to listen.

Willing to discern.

Willing to trust.

And willing to serve.

Don’t Let Fear Keep You From the One Who Loves You

That is the message I most want people to hear.

Do not let fear keep you from listening to God.

Fear kept me away for seventy years.

I thought I needed certainty before I could listen.

Instead,

I discovered that trust grew   because   I began listening.

One day at a time.

One prayer at a time.

One act of obedience at a time.

God did not ask me to understand everything on the first morning.

He simply invited me to come closer.

So if the idea of listening to God frightens you,

begin gently.

Become still.

Remember that Jesus taught us to ask God for protection.

Remember that Scripture gives us ways to discern.

Remember that God is love.

And simply pray:

“Lord Jesus,      I surrender my fear to You.”

“Protect me.”

“Teach me.”

“How may I serve You today?”

Then become still.

And listen.

You do not need to be fearless before approaching Jesus.

You approach Jesus because He is the One who can lead you through the fear.

The Kingdom is His.

The power is His.

The glory is His.

Forever.      Amen.

Questions for prayer:
          What do these passages reveal about God?
          What response does it ask of me?
          Is the impression I receive consistent with the character and teaching of Jesus?
          What loving and faithful action should follow?

Daily prayer:

How may I serve You this day?”